#Underclassmen

Commons Receives B Rating After 'Nasty Patty Night' Kills Health Inspector

Basketball Programs Outshined by #1 Ranked Wii Bowling Team

Warm weather beckons 8,000 students to emerge from sewers and hammock until September

Marquette announces birth of beautiful baby limo

Unmotivated senior unable to finish anythi

Student secretly living in dining hall receives eviction notice

MCCORMICK - After secretly living in McCormick dining hall for the last three months, senior Jacob Nut received an eviction notice from...

Underclassmen form union after repeatedly being denied entrance to house party

MILWAUKEE- Underclassmen at Marquette University have submitted a formal communique announcing plans to unionize. According to the...

The Golden Seagull is a student-run satirical news site founded in 2016 by Ian Schrank and Josh Kujawinski. Our mission is to provide the students of Marquette University with best coverage of news big and small, national and local, real and fake.

With the exception of public figures, the Golden Seagull uses all invented names in its stories. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The Golden Seagull is not associated with Marquette University.