Sports 2/3

Commons Receives B Rating After 'Nasty Patty Night' Kills Health Inspector

Basketball Programs Outshined by #1 Ranked Wii Bowling Team

Warm weather beckons 8,000 students to emerge from sewers and hammock until September

Marquette announces birth of beautiful baby limo

Unmotivated senior unable to finish anythi

Student exchanges National Marquette Day ticket for Talisman of Kinich Ahau

Junior Todd Foley was scrolling through the Marquette ticket exchange Facebook group when he found the deal of the millennium. Foley...

Profound Student Live Tweets Marquette Basketball Game

Plato had The Republic, Descartes had his Discourse on the Method, and Kant had his Critique of Pure Reason. But in 2017, humanity gets...

Bandwagon fan still claims he was at Villanova game

Sophomore Dan Starker is still telling family and friends that he stormed the court after Marquette’s victory against Villanova, despite...

Freshman Basketball fan has trouble finding assigned seat in the Student Section

MILWAUKEE – Freshman basketball fan Morris Clayton left the BMO Harris Bradley Center 10 minutes before tip-off on Saturday after he was...

Golden Eagle migrates to Miami for the Winter

MIAMI – Reports have confirmed that the Marquette Golden Eagle has checked into a condominium in Little Haiti, Miami where he will...

Wojo draws multiple technical fouls for Marquette Madness entrance

After Steve Wojciechowski’s antics during his Marquette Madness introduction, the NCAA has decided to issue four preemptive technical...

Pope Francis to attend Marquette Madness

VATICAN CITY- After a massive effort by the Marquette community, University Athletics announced this year’s special guest for Marquette...

INTERNSHIP OPPORTUNITY: Marquette Basketball Player

MARQUETTE SEEKING ONE MORE BASKETBALL INTERN FOR 2017 SEASON Are you driven, hard working, and athletic? Have you always wanted to help a...

The Golden Seagull is a student-run satirical news site founded in 2016 by Ian Schrank and Josh Kujawinski. Our mission is to provide the students of Marquette University with best coverage of news big and small, national and local, real and fake.

With the exception of public figures, the Golden Seagull uses all invented names in its stories. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The Golden Seagull is not associated with Marquette University.