#CentralMall

Commons Receives B Rating After 'Nasty Patty Night' Kills Health Inspector

Basketball Programs Outshined by #1 Ranked Wii Bowling Team

Warm weather beckons 8,000 students to emerge from sewers and hammock until September

Marquette announces birth of beautiful baby limo

Unmotivated senior unable to finish anythi

Warm weather beckons 8,000 students to emerge from sewers and hammock until September

Warm weather on Tuesday provoked the entire Marquette student body to slither out of the sewer tunnels and fester in Central Mall until...

Radiation-awareness club presents Glow Bingo for Homecoming

The Marquette Radiation-Awareness Club is hosting Glow Bingo Wednesday night in Central Mall for Homecoming week. "People don't realize...

Plans to “relax” in hammock thwarted by the fact that it always takes, like, 30 minutes to set it up

A student recently gave her first-hand account of the unfortunate incident that befell her last Wednesday. Vanessa Mendes reportedly...

The Golden Seagull is a student-run satirical news site founded in 2016 by Ian Schrank and Josh Kujawinski. Our mission is to provide the students of Marquette University with best coverage of news big and small, national and local, real and fake.

With the exception of public figures, the Golden Seagull uses all invented names in its stories. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The Golden Seagull is not associated with Marquette University.