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Plans to “relax” in hammock thwarted by the fact that it always takes, like, 30 minutes to set it up


A student recently gave her first-hand account of the unfortunate incident that befell her last Wednesday.

Vanessa Mendes reportedly brought her hammock out to central mall; she had a 50-minute break between classes and thought this would be the perfect time to kick back and soak up the Milwaukee sun.

“I looked at what the weather was supposed to be and it was like 65 degrees, so I was like ‘this is the perfect opportunity to broadcast to campus how chill I am.”

However, these plans were quickly abandoned when Vanessa had to spend “honestly like 30 minutes just finding 2 trees to put it between, getting it out of the stupid bag, and figuring out how to tether it.” She later added, “And then I also remembered ‘Oh my god I have to get the damn thing back in the bag somehow too!’” At this point, the entire ordeal was dropped and Mendes was notably upset.

“I swear to god I spent like $40 on that thing. Now how am I supposed to let people know that I’m a free spirit who sometimes likes to read books?”

Mendes further reports that she guesses she’ll have to resort to playing Twenty One Pilots in the Brew.

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