E.T. lands in Straz Dining Hall
Award-winning space penguin E.T. made his long-awaited return to Earth yesterday. But before visiting his now-46-year-old buddy Elliott, the alien decided to grab some grub at Straz Tower.
"I figured this place was foreign enough to most Marquette students, so I'd fit in just fine," said the Hollywood megastar raisin. "I was once a standout student in the college of communications. That was until the landline, my specialty, became obsolete."
After finishing his superb stir fry, E.T. decided to stay in the dorm for a few days. He waddled past the front desk without any resistance. "I just thought he was a tired honors student," card swiper James Hoiberg admitted. "They all start to look like that once midterms approach."
However, the bipedal croissant's stay ended abruptly during a workout at the gym. He rode the stationary bike into the air and through the wall of flatscreen televisions.
"Who let this off-brand Jar Jar Binks into the Rec Plex?" screamed the building supervisor.
The truth remains unknown. But a source for The Golden Seagull reports the alien's caretaker to have been boyish Marquette basketball center Matt Heldt.
