President Lovell Trapped in the Upside-Down Room
Marquette University President Michael Lovell is trapped in what MUPD is now calling “the Upside-Down Room.” As of this moment, the Police Department is still unaware of the exact location of the Upside-Down Room.
He made the public aware of this dilemma by updating his profile picture on Facebook on April 16th. While he wears a brave smile, we can all see that he is hurting on the inside. Luckily, the President of Marquette University discovered an Apple computer and a solid Wi-Fi connection.
“At first I was terrified,” said President Lovell via Skype call. “On top of the fear that I would never see my friends and family again, I was worried that being upside-down would cause all the blood to rush to my head. But in the four months I’ve been here, I haven’t had that problem.”
Not only does this predicament baffle scientists, but it leaves no clues as to the location of the president.
“From what we can tell, it would appear that there is no food or water in the Upside-Down Room,” said physicist Dr. Glenn Schwimer. “The fact that he’s alive leads us to believe that Dr. Lovell is in a dimension beyond time and space.”
MUPD is still trying to pinpoint President Lovell’s exact location, and the Golden Seagull has a team closely watching his Facebook page.
“I am doing my best to stay strong,” said the President. “But every day I cannot go running is a struggle.”
