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Freshman mistakes location of stats class, longboards to Cudahy, WI


On Wednesday, freshman business student Dexter McCluster inadvertently longboarded all the way from Carpenter Tower to the City of Cudahy, WI in search of his Elementary Statistics class.

Still unsure of the whereabouts of every campus building, McCluster opted to utilize Google Maps, only to be routed 6.7 miles to the City of Cudahy’s town hall on South Lake Dr.

“At first, I was taken aback by the 2 hour and 31 minute estimated walk time”, McCluster said, “But then I figured that this is a pretty extensive campus and with my longboard I could cut at least a half hour off of that estimate and have plenty of time to sleep in”.

McCluster’s roommate, Zachary Samis, confirmed that Dexter did indeed Google directions the night before and decided it best to wake up at 6:30 am to ensure that he had plenty of time to make it to his 9:30am lecture.

“We were having our usual evening before-bed chat when Dex started going on and on about how far away Cudahy was from our dorm. I just thought the man was lazy but it turns out he just has no common sense”, Samis commented.

Residents of Cudahy were equally perplexed by the student’s appearance in their city. One woman expressed her confusion over seeing a young man wearing a D Wade jersey riding a skateboard on highway 794. Others had interesting conversations with the young man once he arrived.

Brandon McManus, an airman at Cudahy’s 128th Air Refueling Wing, said, “Mr. McCluster approached the gates of the base saying that he was looking for statistics. I assumed he meant information on the base so I handed him a packet and sent him on his way”.

Eventually, the miscommunication was resolved through a conversation with a Cudahy Chamber of Commerce employee, but McCluster says he has no regrets.

“Embarrassed? Are you kidding me? I had an amazing day in a welcoming community and learned a little bit about the economic impact of our Air Refueling Wing. This is what college is all about”, McCluster said.

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